Catching Gnomes and Sometimes Girls
by K. Lynn Perks
Summary: Charlie Weasley loses his favorite garden gnome and shares the sad and humorous moment with Alicia Spinnet. Written for l0stinl0ve's Firefly/Serentiy Quote Competition on HPFC. One-Shot


Hi all, this story was written for **l0stinl0ve's Firefly/Serenity Quote Competition on HPFC.** The quote I was given to use was: "Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower... somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross."

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**Catching Gnomes and Sometimes Girls**

She whispers, "Does this dress make me look fat?" Turning to face her best friend Lee Jordan who looks mortified that she even questioned him.

Lee shrugs his shoulders and gives her the once over, "You look fine." Although his eyes linger a bit too long on her bottom which immediately makes her feel self-conscious.

"Lee!" She yells, but can't help the short laugh that escapes her. At least he wasn't shy about being himself around her.

She flattens down the dress again and adjusts the hair band she has tied up in her hair. Although she felt a bit too wide to be wearing the form fitting dress she had to admit she did feel pretty. Angelina had chosen a beautiful deep purple gown for the bridesmaids, silk with a plunging neckline and shimmering crystals along the hem. Her dark brown hair hung in curls around her shoulders and was kept out of her face by a cream colored headband. She looked presentable, well as presentable as one could be for a wedding.

"Come on, walk me downstairs." She holds out her hand to Lee who was still fixing the front of his dress robes.

"I look like an idiot." He mutters, taking her by the arm and opening the bedroom door.

"At least you are consistent." She muses, and let him lead her down the steps into the Burrow sitting room.

Angelina and George's wedding had been in the works for what seemed like years now, and Alicia couldn't have been more thrilled to get it over with so Angelina could return to her normal self. One more week of listening to her complain about decorations or flowers and Alicia was likely to throw herself out the window of the flat they shared.

Mrs. Weasley is bustling about the sitting room when the two descended from the staircase, and quickly begins ushering them outside. "We have five minutes before the ceremony…"

Alicia is pushed and shoved and finally ends up in her place besides Charlie Weasley whom she'd be walking down the aisle with.

"At least she didn't spit in a cloth and wipe the side of your face." Charlie whispers and then smirks, "Can't seem to understand that I'm not eleven anymore."

She looks up at the older Weasley boy and feels her face flush. It had been awhile since she had last seen him and she had forgotten how handsome he was. More rugged looking than George and yet softer than Bill, Charlie Weasley had that look that screamed lady-killer. Not to mention chasing and taming dragons in Romania automatically made you sexy.

She giggles, "You are a Weasley, it's in your genetics to be perpetually eleven."

Charlie snorts back a laugh, "Touche…"

And that's the only bit of conversation they share before the music starts and they are walking down the aisle beneath the tent that has been set up in the backyard.

The ceremony is a whirlwind; vows exchanged, batting eyelashes, and the kiss to consummate man and wife. Before she knows what is happening Charlie is pulling her on the arm and they are retreating back into the house before the reception.

It was chaotic in the house, Molly running about and making sure that things would run smoothly for the after party. Family members and friends swarmed George and Angelina, so Alicia merely stood against the far back wall and watched the display.

"You want to slip out of here for a bit?" It was Charlie, and he was hiding a flask of Firewhiskey in the front of his robe as he grinned down at her.

"Well, um,"

"Don't be a baby, Spinnet." He wiggles the flask and grins again.

She casts a look back at the chaos and then looks up at the attractive man standing next to her, asking her for company…_alone_.

"Oh all right." She pretends to be perturbed but her heart is racing.

He leads her out back and around the side of the Burrow. Her heels stick into the soft grass making it difficult for her to walk. "How far are we going?" Her heel goes in too deep and she has to use all her strength to yank it back out.

He looks back at her and sniggers at her difficulty walking, "Not too far, over by the garden. The bushes are high right now so no one will see us…"

By no one she knows he means his mother and despite her heels getting stuck in the dirt she laughs at how silly and childish this all is. Honestly she was 22, drinking in front of adults wasn't really an issue.

"Here we are." He slips behind one of the larger bushes and flips open the cap of the flask, "to George and Angelina, happy blissful days and even _happier _blissful nights." The flask hits his mouth and he takes a decent gulp of the liquor.

She reaches his side and takes the flask from his hand. "To not getting caught." She grins and sips before handing it back to him.

"To the wedding buffet…" He adds.

"To dancing…"

"To dragons…"

"To Quidditch…"

"To my impeccable good looks…"

She snorts, "To Oliver Wood…"

He pauses and quirks his brow.

"What," she blushes, "I used to fancy him."

"Well then to my Mum."

She looks at him horrified, "Ew, you don't fancy your mum do you?"

He spits out his firewhiskey and laughs, "No, I just meant to say that I love the pesky over doting woman."

The exchange continues for what feels like hours before Alicia realizes that she is quite drunk. Charlie doesn't look any better, stumbling backwards as they laugh over a toast he had made to the bloke who claimed to have discovered the medical uses of dragon dung.

She grabs onto his arm and stumbles a bit herself, practically falling into the bush. When she grabs a branch and pushes it out of the way Charlie gives a very girlish shriek and drops to his knees.

"Oh no!" He is poking at a dead garden gnome with his finger.

Alicia bends over and looks at the shriveled little body, "Gross…" She mutters.

"Poor Zoe…" he pokes at the gnome again.

"You name your garden gnomes?" Alicia questions, stifling a laugh that has built up in her chest.

"Not just any garden gnome, she is – well _was_ – my favorite garden gnome."

"How do you even know it's a girl?" She asks.

"Oh I know."

She makes a face and he waves his free hand in her direction. "No, not like that. I didn't go outside and pull up her skirt or anything."

"Thank goodness." She smirks.

"When I was a kid she was the only one that could ever elude me when we de-gnomed the garden. Figured she was way too crafty so she just had to be a woman."

"Naturally, we women are quite crafty."

He sighs, "What a bummer, she was my favorite – the one I couldn't catch."

He looked so adorable there, mourning over his lost garden gnome but still clinging to the flask of firewhiskey that Alicia covered her mouth to hide her grin. She pulls up her dress and removes her wand from the holster against her calf. "Here lets bury her." With a flick of her wrist a small hole forms in the dirt just beside the little body.

He stands up from the spot, sighs, and then nudges the body into the hole with the toe of his boot.

"Well that's classy." She mutters, and the two of them laugh again.

He leans back and holds his hands up in the air, ""Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower... " He looks down at the small body and wrinkles his nose, "somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross."

She bursts out laughing, holding her side as he looks down at the dead gnome. Alicia flicks her wand again and watches the dirt fill the hole and cover the body. Once the last bit of dirt is placed down over the hole she lifts her dress and tucks her wand away.

Charlie is still staring down at the spot looking utterly disappointed.

"I'm sorry Charlie." She whispers, suddenly feeling guilty for laughing so hard at something so morbid. She blamed the firewhiskey.

Taking the flask from his hand Alicia raises it up and smiles, "To Zoe…the craftiest she-gnome in the garden." Taking a sip she hands it over to him. He's smiling now, and follows her lead.

He wipes the hand across his mouth, "Thanks Alicia."

"Anytime." She grins and bumps his hip with her own. "How bout one more toast?"

She takes the flask and tips it in his direction, "To Charlie Weasley, one of the nicest most sincere blokes I've ever known."

His blush is hard to mask, but he plays it off cavalierly, "You're a funny bird, Alicia Spinnet." But he takes the flask from her and takes a drink.

"It's a gift." She grins, and places her hand on his arm, "Come on, let's head back to the wedding." She goes to turn, stumbles and feels his arm jet out to catch her before she falls.

"Well at least I wont be bored…" His eyes are glossed over with a mixture of alcohol and something else.

"Huh?" She straightens herself out and barely notices anything else but his hand still resting on her arm.

"Just saying," He repositions his arm so it's wrapped about her waist while they walk, " It looks like I have someone new to catch…"

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Well I hope you all enjoyed this one shot. Did you like this couple pairing? I'm contemplating using them for a multi-chapter fic in the future. Please leave me some feedback in a review. Much love.


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